We all have the capacity to become better, and work and live in fulfilling ways. Why not start now?
Have you ever felt like everyone else was doing better than you? Have you ever felt like the deck was so stacked against you that you will never catch up? How many times have you said to yourself that you are too old, that it's too late, that you are just not that kind of person....? I did. I was always a dreamer with big ideas and some pretty audacious plans, but over the last couple of decades I was unable to make those plans a reality because the story I told myself - that I wasn’t enough. Year after year, I cruised through the spin cycle of life, telling myself that story. And for as long as I did, I would continue to be not enough in all aspects of my life—my family, my career, my life.
I was tired of living the groundhog days. Life was passing by, far too fast, living me in the same spot year after year... I needed to open my eyes and change my story. Pronto. I firmly believe that we receive what we are telling our subconscious mind we deserve. I was telling my mind that I wasn’t good enough and that’s what I saw all around me.
Identify your story
The first step in changing a limiting belief is identifying it.
Identifying my story about not being good enough was surprisingly difficult initially. I hid it deep inside myself, covering it up with a myriad of excuses for so long that I didn’t think of it as a story at all. It took a lot of thought before I realized that this was the story I was telling myself.
What limiting story are you telling yourself? Maybe it’s that you’ll never find love or that you’ll never earn over a certain amount of money. Maybe it’s that you are too old to chnage your eating habits or join the gym. Maybe you think you’ll never make a living doing what you love or that you are not smart enough to succeed.
All of these things are stories. The difference between any of us and the people doing the thing that we’ve always wanted to do is the stories we tell yourselves. Changing that story is one of the most important steps to changing your life.
"Change your thoughts and you change your world.” ~ Norman Vincent Peale
Shift your story
The second step in creating a new story.
Leave behind the old story. For me, it was deciding that I was just as good as anyone else and I deserved just as much as anyone else. It’s a really simple non-specific story, but it countered my previous limiting one.
Think about your limiting story. How can you change that story to make it empowering?
Believe your new story
The third step is believing in your new story. Changing our beliefs can be the most difficult thing of all. When I decided to change my story about myself, I looked around at my life for evidence that the new story was true. Being objective, I realized that I’d actually accomplished quite a bit. I’d always done well in school. I travelled quite a bit when I was young. I moved across the ocean when I was 19 and started a whole new life before helping my parents and sister move here too. I was always able to find work by myself. I started succesful business before graduating university, meeting amazing people, even royalty along the way. I always went out of my way to be kind and helpful to others. These are all things that, in my eyes, made me just as good as anyone else I viewed as succesful today.
As I started to look at my life more, I realized that one of my core problems was “the anyone else” part of my story. I was comparing myself to others. Instead of thinking of myself as just as good as anyone else, I started to change my story again to simply say that I am good.
Can you find evidence around you that can support your new story? Does looking at it makes you realize that you too may need to make any changes to your new story?
Nothing happens without action
Sitting around and dreaming will not make change happen. After doing vision board after a vision board over the last few years proved that action is that magic ingredient where we really start to see the change happen.
With a new story about your life, with your belief in it, be willing and open to change. Things will begin to change and you will start seeing opportunities in places you’ve never noticed before. You’ll have the courage to try things that you never did before. As you go through the process, please do remember to not beat yourself up if you start falling back into old habits. Far too often we are our biggest critics. Stop. Think back and remember why you believe in your new story, then pick yourself up and start again. It’s the ability to continue moving forward that will get us to achieving our goals.
You are the editor of your own life story. Here is to all the fresh new chapters and page-turners filled with promise you and I will write in the decades to come!
P.S. To help you start to free yourself by editing your narrative, you may enjoy John Sharp's TED talk "What old story about yourself are you still believing? Here’s how to find it and change it"